I woke up to a peculiar sound and looked around. But I couldn't find anything strange in my studio. Everything was like what it was: an audio set turned off; a computer, colored black by darkness, in which a cursor waiting to be typed by any soul was blinking dimly; and a digital clock showing 4:00 a.m. I opened the window, and cold raindrops struck me in the face. Taking a breath, I thought it was a nightmare, and I recalled the accident of Reeve.
Reeve, who had dreamed to come to this darn Paris in order to study design, kept his position as my rival and companion during my wandering youth. Writing this story, I'm reckoning about what could be the best way not to be blamed and to show mea culpa. If I had to write this at the very time, I couldn't do it because of shame and guilt.
It was a summer day in 1988 when Reeve introduced me to Eudita, his girl friend, who studied with him in the design school that he considered as the first step to his future. She was the unforgettable type once you see her and surely was the person who had the most attentions in the huge wedding party for my friend, even she was just a bride-maiden. But soon, I forgot about her. Although she had invincible beauty that made other women jealous, she was merely my best friend's girlfriend. I didn't have any feelings against her. As a matter of fact, I was as busy as a spider spinning desires at that time because I had just entered a trading company and could fulfill my dreadful dream-Don't be curious about what my dream was. It is not what I'm going to talk about. It is all about my buddy. I was just a dealer (now I don't know what I dealt was: that might be some articles or some souls).
It was six months later when I saw her again. One day, Reeve called and asked me to go to the cafe Malentendu where they, Reeve and Eudita, were supposed to meet. According to his excuse, all of a sudden, he had to go on a business trip, so he tried to contract her in order to cancel the date, but he couldn't get in touch with her. What a boy friend ! I accepted his request because of friendship or brotherhood, even though I was reluctant to go there. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't interested in what she looked or what charm she had. Any spell-bound didn't work to me. I was totally against those magic-words, or was a misogynist. Please remember I was one of the busiest people in the world creating my mythical dreams.
When I got there, she hadn't arrived yet. Waiting for her, I ordered a cup of cappuccino. Even after I finished my cappuccino she didn't show up, then I got the second cappuccino. I was a little bit furious about their attitude and about their stealing my precious time. "These ignorant designers! They don't know how to design! They need a lesson! Ah! There she is!" Finally she showed up with a pair of tight blue jeans and a white T-shirt which gives her breasts cupful lines remarking her naive cupidity. Delivering his apology, I quelled her amazement of seeing me in his place.
"I'm sorry for being late. If I knew you would be here, I should be in time," in foreign manner she apologized.
"No, it's all right. I spent a great time with my friars," I retorted.
"Pardon me?" she asked.
"Oh! I mean the cappuccino. I already drank two cups. 'Cause I love its flavor and taste, but the best part of it is the color. Do you know where the word cappuccino came from. That's Capuchins. They are Franciscan friars. Thanks to the color of their garment, we named it cappuccino. But I like call it my friar. It is the happiest time for me to kiss it slightly and have it in the mouth and in the gut," I continued, "Then I had it twice. You know, it's better than foutre."
She burst out laughing and said sorry again. I laughed too plainly. Anyway I carried out my duty successfully. She suggested to go to a movie, they were supposed to see "Basic Instinct". During the film, I thought that she had an air of Sharon Stone.
That very moment was the beginning of all following events between us. I don't know why I felt such a strange sense of jealousy at that moment. What a tangled web we weave!
The devil that slept in mind woke up and whispered, when she asked me something which I can't remember now, : "Listen, buddy. Look at her beauty, the darken hair, the dreamy eyes like mourning stars, the milky skin, and these lustful lips! What a charmer! That's exactly your type. And she is interested in you. Let's take her."
But my conscience dissented, "Don't do that! She is the only girl that your best friend loves. You can't do that to him." I seemed to be reminded of our good friendship, but I couldn't refuse the sweet lure of the devil.
"What's the matter? What are you afraid of? Reeve? Forget him," the devil urged, "He is not on your side. Let's think of me. I've always been with you. If you want to kidnap her blind conscience, I'll help you. I am your only best friend in the world."
With his assistance, I began to influence her slyly. I tried to prove how I was superior to him in such a cunning way which nobody could figure out. My web was too complicated and delicate for her to escape. I did what I could! Of course, I knew she couldn't extricate herself from this type of web by her attitude during our conversation. In every way, the web was greater and more successful than I had expected. She was like an weary insect that has no strength to struggle with a spider web.
Since that strange date, I had some occasions to meet them because she had solicited Reeve for my presence. By the way, it didn't matter to me. I could taste my confidence and act stuck up whenever I met them. Also, I often witnessed the scenes when she complained to him comparing him to me and all the rest that, in fact, was useless. Their behavior satisfied me, a hypocrite who had an obsession about him. But, I didn't stop. Pretending to be his best friend, I constructed a labyrinth that they couldn't exit. They couldn't flee but instead ended their love as two little lambs come to the wolf in sheep's clothing.
Although they seemed to have fallen in love for a time, I knew that there would be a crack in that puppy-love because I believed in the consequences of my trap. In fact, women like her have a desire to possess things which they don't have but which someone, who they know, has. Then there I was. I had a Master Degree of that kind of game. I was using this. I paid for most entertainment and dinners, and showed my prowess whenever I joined them on their dates. Of course, my stupid friend welcomed me; he believed I was his best buddy, so that's why I paid for them. He never knew how much I enjoyed my game.
By the way, she grew more disappointed with him for not having the spending power that I had, unless I was present. At last, she decided to be realistic and asked him to separate. But he didn't catch the point. He tried to make her happy in other ways and at times begged. At first, all his efforts seemed to be successful, but too late.
To solve the problem, they needed me and dropped by to see me respectively. Although they were in trouble, their situation was not bad for me. If you've ever been in this situation, you could understand my feeling. If you never had any experience like this, let's imagine that someone, whom you know well or even don't know, asks for your help. Maybe your heart will be full of self-satisfaction and confidence caused by the competence to change someone's mind.
No matter what they expected from me, it was certain that I ridiculed their demeanor. In spite of this cruel thought, I pretended to be a good adviser and friend. Do you think they could be happy again with this hypocrite's help? They didn't have a chance.
For a time, they seemed to have gotten over their affair, but the way which they were going didn't distress me. Everything was going the way I had planed except for the unexpected last scene.
Have you ever devised a plan like the one above? I bet you think of me as a wicked bastard. Maybe you are right. But please don't think that all I thought about was raining on their parade. As I told you before, I was working like a busy bee at that time to achieve my ambition. That is, I didn't only concentrate on setting the trap for them. The cruel planner of this trap was not me, but the devil that hid under my skin and these pitiful companies' ineptness for self-realization. I don't mean that I want to exonerate myself from any blame. All I had done was to provide a little personal assistance to activate the devil's plan. They should knew that there is no free lunches.
After a year of being their affair counselor without charge, the fateful day arrived. While preparing a seminar that would be held the following week, my phone rang loudly. I picked it up, and heard Reeve's voice.
"Gene? Do me a favor?" he said gloomily, "Write this down, 7 2 1 2 3 1 0 ......."
I asked suspiciously, "What for? What's this? What do you want?"
He replied, "It's her phone number."
"Whose?" I inquired vehemently.
"Eudita's phone number. Please tell her how much I loved her, if you ever see her," he muttered, "Now good-bye..."
All of a sudden, I had a foreboding, and immediately shouted, "What? Where are you? Hey! Boy!"
There, however, was only the echo of my voice on the receiver. He had already hung up. I called his office to learn what was going on, but the information I got from a chilly voice secretary was that he was on vacation, even though it wasn't vacation season. Then, I did everything I could to find him out, but I lost all the trace of him. Ah, he got away from my hunting net!
Soon, however, I who sought the bubble reputation and was a member of the modern hypocrite club got my way. Soon I forgot about him and focused on the task for the seminar, much more urgent than his missing, considering his behavior as the rambling of a fool.
Two days later, I could contact him. Of course, reluctantly. He called me up again. "Hello, M&M," I picked up the phone, but no answer. I asked again and finally heard a voice on the other end.
"Oh! What's wrong with you? You out of mind? Where are you now? Why did you take a vacation? Are you crazy? Give you a penny for your thoughts. Let me know where you are," I spat some words without stopping. But he began to sob, and told me that she was going to shack up with an another guy that I knew. Then he pleased me to come out and console his weary heart.
There he goes again. It's was a good chance for me full of selfishness to prove I was superior to him. But I couldn't respond to his begging for comfort from me, because I was behind in my work that would allow me to get a promotion later.
I told him to go to le cheval de bois, a bar we went to regularly, and wait for me. The next thing I did was to call Dion, a friend of mine and his, and tell Dion the whole story. I asked ( no it's better to say "I commanded") him to go to le cheval de bois and be with him until I got there. Dion accepted my request, so I could finish my work without any obstacles.
When I arrived at the bar, I didn't have any opportunity to be proud because Reeve was already too drunk to talk. Instead, I heard about what he had done for two days via Dion's emotionless chattering mouth.
According to Dion's account, the Poor Reeve, he went to his hometown river two days before, in order to commit suicide after calling me. However, facing the hopeless color of water, he had second thoughts as follows : "Why should I kill myself? Why am I on earth? What about my parents and sisters, and my kid brother? If I did this silly thing, where would they leave? Let's think about this. What is the most valuable thing in the world? Even though I made this decision, why is it hard for me? Let's try again. There is no reason I should give up my life." So he stopped by her office with a bouquet of roses as soon as he arrived in the town where his whole memories about her was still living vividly. But what awaited him was deliberate cruelty. She told him that she was going to shack up with someone else and asked him to forget about her in order to kick him out definitively. Her strategy was so great that his wandering soul was knocked breathless. And then he asked me to help.
After listening to Dion's story, I found out what I should do for him. And I decided to take him to my apartment and made a quick departure. On the way home, I thought that he was really foolish and dangerous. Although we had been friends for about ten years, I never realized how stupid he was. So, to really help him, I made up my mind to tell him how to live in this harsh world, what he should do in this hell, and how many charming women were waiting for us in this world. She is not only fish in the sea. With the purpose of giving a lesson to this childish friend, I reinforced my conscience.
When I was ready to tell the truth, we were home, and he was still drunk. I had confidence that I could turn around his mind when he woke up the next morning. So imagining his grinning face covered with foolishness which I would face as the first thing in the next morning, I threw his drunken body into my double size bed and hit the sack by him.
I was awakened by a strange sound and looked around. But everything seemed normal. Everything was all right, and the clock indicated 4:00 a.m. I opened the window and took a breath, listening to the gloomy sound of the raindrops striking against the pale blue colored window pane. Taking a breath again, I thought I had had a nightmare.
I mumbled " Nightmare......."
At that moment, I remembered the presence of Reeve, and turned my eyes to the bed. I was stunned. He was not there. I called out his name, but I didn't get any response. With a dismal feeling of foreboding, I tried to open the bathroom door, but it was closed. I knocked and yell his name, but there was no reply and I had to open it with the key slept for a long time in my closet. I laughed as soon as I opened the door because he was leaning against the wall and sleeping in such a queer position. What a fool!
I shouted, "Wake up! Let's go back to bed! Come on!"
After I moved closer to him to take him, I saw that an exuberantly colorful necktie, which Eudita presented for his twenty-seventh birthday, linked his pale and long neck to a glittering shower pipe on the wall. To avoid the sinful panorama I drove my bloody eyes on the right side, then found a note on the toilet on which were written the words : "Thank you, my best buddy."
Now , many years have passed, and I am in Paris where he had desired to come. I don't know why I've chosen this city to stay. But I guess it is not my will, but another of the devil's plans.
I'm sorry, but let me stop here because I can't hold back my tears anymore. I'd like to finish this story by saying " Forgive me, my buddy, even though it was an unforgivable thing, Let there be no hard feelings......." and it is time to have another cappuccino.
